Hey friends, I know I post a lot of crazy, off the wall and fantastic musings here, and some of it fiction! 😉 But allow me a moment to get real. For the past 4 months my mom has been in recovery from heart failure. She came home for two weeks about a month ago, not fully rehabilitated, moved into a skilled nursing facility and then back home last Tuesday, Sep 30th, again, not fully rehabilitated.
I tell you this not for concern or pity but to let you know that caring for another adult and working 40+ hours a week can take away from other obligations, like this blog. I’ve left you hanging on the Skulldoggery Tail, 5 Questions w/ Kevin Smith (which was a damn dirty lie! There are 7) and a lot of new stuff. But fear not, I’ll be returning soon! (That sounded way more cinematic in my head).
In 1994, Kevin Smith birthed an indie gem called CLERKS. In that same year I was taking care of something I had birthed, an actual human.
Over the years, our writing/directing journeys were glorious parallels…sorry, my mind loves to wander into fantasy. No they were clearly divergent, which is why after all this time, I refuse to offer the exact number because you might do math which is bad, unless it involves money…being offered, then it’s good but in this case, time would equal age and though it’s been said, ‘Age ain’t nothin but a number’, it’s a number I’d prefer to keep to myself, thank you!
So, while he’s continued like a non stop locomotive – serving multiple destinations with stops in Red Bank, NJ, Austin, TX, Park City, UT, Hollywood, CA, and Cannes, France (don’t ask me HOW it works) despite enduring a ‘widomaker’ heart attack back in 2018…I have taken a different path, a much longer and less scenic and nonsensical, if you will.
See, while Kevin has been out on the field, actually making plays, I was playing…on the sidelines…with my kids and just dreaming about doing BIG things.
While he was inserting his wife (I’ll wait) into his films and later on, writing scenes for his talented daughter, Harley Quinn, I was sharing my kids in stories they insisted I read on Dr. Seuss Day at their elementary school.
I have to add, begin rant, that I wasn’t ‘allowed’ by my kids to pull a book off the shelf to read to the class, I had to read their story AND not only that but if I had already shared a story, like “The World’s Biggest Bubble Ever!” then I was instructed to write a new story to share. “Aww, but the other parents don’t have to!” Okay, rant over.
Jumping ahead, with a signed copy of CLERKS (purchased from the View Askew store I believe), a dream in my heart and an online membership to Project Greenlight – the love child of producer Chris Moore and dynamic duo Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, I confidently propelled myself closer to my goal- or at least 12 inches! This contest provided a platform for first time filmmakers and offered a $1 million budget to film your screenplay. I was not chosen.
I didn’t have a script. I wanted to write a script, but it was hard (again, I’ll wait) so I read and voted on scripts that others successfully finished and submitted. I made some amazing friends (sadly, some we had to say goodbye to) met Ben Affleck (nice guy) and Chris Moore (even nicer! Hey, he stripped out of his promotional vest and bestowed it upon me – true story).
Over the years I tried, but ultimately let the FEAR stop me – more like body slam! I did manage to write and self publish my fantasy novel, Amuse and while contemplating writing the screenplay for it, I did become inspired and am in the middle of an actual screenplay with action and dialogue yo!
You’re probably saying, “What does any of this have to do with the title Karma?!” Obviously not outloud, you would sound like a maniac. Well, I’m getting there, don’t you remember the first part about how I meander along my journey?!
In preparation for this segment of my experience I gorged myself on unlimited YouTube videos, instructional classes and books, basically anything writing related and especially screenwriting. So of course, Kevin Smith is going to be living in my feed. ONLY I discovered while listening to yet another interview with him that he was becoming my guru, my mentor, my Yoda but without the swamp and creepy giggle. This guy is fucking positive, generous and kind and never ever brings up how slacking on your writing schedule is a path to the dark side, which I appreciate since I’m a “I have 10 free minutes to throw something down on paper” type of gal.
So, I posted on my digital Vision Board, “Interview Kevin Smith”. I figured it worked for manifesting other amazing things – to be included in a future post – so I then asked myself, “WHAT would I ask him?” I had to have a plan, you can’t just come at Kevin Smith half cocked (I’ll wait) and unprepared. So I wrote down some questions but they felt too generic, or used, I wanted to them to be FRESH. That took some time and polish, see I wanted to talk about his essence, his magnaminous spirit and unwavering generosity.
I mentioned this to my friend and he asks, “Do you have a podcast?” Now this sent me into a spiral because I hadn’t thought that far ahead – again, I think you’re sensing a pattern. I do’t have a podcast not to mention almost every podcast I saw him on was f’n (I’m only allowed one to keep this PG-13) cool and professional looking with neon signs promoting the brand and couches or chairs and plants – possibly fake but maybe real – and Michael Rosenbaum even had posters and I believe some of them were comic book related.
What did I have to offer? Come to Tennessee and hang out for an hour in my combo office/bedroom/art studio? I had no Spider Man artwork, what I had created before had been gifted before my move, my Into the Spiderverse poster mysteriously vanished, I couldn’t even find my Marvel Team-Up #100 edition from 1980 with the first appearance of the mutant Karma that I purchased at a ComicCon. (I’ll be honest, sitting here in my Mandalorian tee I’m feeling really bummed making this post but you know me, I’ll bounce back…hopefully it won’t take another 10 years!) In short, I had overlooked the biggest obstacle between me and my interview of Kevin Smith – a fancy studio!
So stay tuned as I pretend to be a contractor and attempt to draw up plans for my podcast or rather wanna be smodcast 😉 I’ve got my crayon box and so many ideas!
It was a Tuesday, a little after 6am. Half asleep I stumbled from my bedroom, down the stairs and along the hall. There had been a noise near the front door, perhaps a package had been delivered. Perhaps my new nose hair trimmer from Amazon had finally arrived! I breathed a sigh of relief, albeit a muffled one. I opened the door and peered outside but the porch was sadly empty.
I closed the door a little harder than necssary which caused the “You can’t have rainbows without the rain” print to fall from it’s place on the entryway wall. As I stooped to retrieve it, something caught my eye on the floor a few feet from me. It was a large yellow envelope. The type used for sending contracts, catalogs or autographed celebrity photos. Thanks Drew Barrymore 😉
It was from Edgar Wright…at least that’s what the blue marker scribbling on the front aspired to. Perhaps he had been forced to sign with his non dominant hand and that hand had been crushed or severed by a mechanical gear or one of those great big hammers or wicked pliers due to some unpaid debt to the English mob or a really angry ex girlfriend or a rival filmmaker perhaps? Guy Ritchie, hmmm?
Oh well, no use speculating, for I held in my hands, which were both perfectly functional thank you, something solid, something viable that informed that THE Edgar Wright himself was aware of my existense! SWOON!
I was so overwhelmed with this immense blessing that I fell onto the couch, starry eyed and slack jawed for several minutes before I even thought to examine the contents. So, examine I did. Inside was a single sheet of paper with a printed message.
Lady Karma (so formal, I love it!)
This is a siezendesist (French? Ooh lala) Stop writing about Edgar Alan Poe (You mean Edgar Wright?) Stop today or we will sue for treats and money.
Signed The guy you always write about
(scribbled signature)
My eyes welled up and I sniffed (it is allergy season still) but I was also sad and a little devastated. What had caused him to react this way? Sure, I wrote A LOT about him but it was mostly positive and only a little creepy and obsessive.
It’s not like I wanted to wear him like a suit, (I’m more of a dress gal), I just really love his talent and wanted him to know I was a fan who really really wanted to meet him and work with him on some projects where we would grow closer over time and in the projection room watching dailies he would look deep into my eyes and say,
“Karma, would you do me the honor of being my bestie?” I mean, where’s the harm in that? #GOALS I mean, If I had a nickel for every blog dedicated to me and dreams of being my bestie, I would have negative nickels sure, but I would understand.
I would have to get to the bottom of this, and fast…because I had to start work soon.
Some might not know but I have an online store called Karma and Destiny where I display and occasionally sell creative clothes. Lately I’ve been inspired by my favorite filmmakers. If you dare, take a peek here: https://karmaanddestiny.printful.me/ Honestly, this is fun and a great break from the daily grind. I hope you like.
Ah the BIG SCREEN, that magical portal into wonderous landscapes, spirited adventures, passionate romances, nail biting thrillers and even side splitting comedies.
I remember as a child staring, slack jawed and wide eyed while a future Jedi, a scoundrel, a Wookie, a metallic mannequin and beeping trash can rescued a princess with cinnamon rolls for hair. I was hooked!
So while I’m on my own quest as a screenwriter/filmmaker, I’m paying homage to some of my favorite directors. Pass the popcorn will ya?
NOW SHOWING: The Spirit of Independence! or Sui Generis (pull up your dictionary app)
They may have bigger budgets now but that independent energy remains!
The front of the shirts displays EDGAR & KEVIN & RICHARD & WES
Edgar Wright – SPACED (yes it’s a tv show and no, I do not care!)the Cornetto trilogy – Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and The World’s End, Baby Driver, Scott Pilgrim vs the World, The Running Man etc…
Kevin Smith – one of the first auteurs to make me believe I could fly – er film. CLERKS, Mallrats, CHASING AMY, Red State, Dogma, Tusk, the Jay and Silent Bob series etc…
The back of the shirt displays “SPACED out DAZED & CONFUSED CLERKS acting like SLACKERs chasing AMY like SHAUN OF THE DEAD with a bottle rocket through RUSHMORE!”
Richard Linklater – SLACKER, the Before series Before Sunrise, Sunset and Midnight, A Scanner Darkly, DAZED and CONFUSED, School of Rock, Hit Man, etc…
Wes Anderson – I’ll admit, the quirkiness of Andreson’s films didn’t hit me at first, but I grew to appreciate and love them, especially the color! BOTTLE ROCKET, Moonrise Kingdom, The Royal Tennenbaums, RUSHMORE, the Darjeeling Limited, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Grand Budapest Hotel, etc…
***PLEASE NOTE that The titles on the shirt were created using fonts or a combination of fonts and graphic elements – I tried to capture the essence without copy/pasting from their movie posters. So they are not exact replicas…I guess you could call them ‘independent’ 😉 Honestly, it took me like 4 hours!
Mooving Piktures logo on right sleeve so you know it’s fresh 😉
Other Showings High Octane! Oh, the horror! Dum, dum, dum! (Suspense) Love Is In The Air!
Let me know who YOUR favorite filmmakers are, I’d love to chat about it.
So last we left, I was running from the office of Neil Gaiman. Oops! Perhaps next time I should use more than Google for research but there are no telephone books anymore. What am I, the C.I.A.? M.I.6? FOX?
I gotta tell you, I felt pretty defeated, in that I – didn’t – succeed – at – my – mission kind of way. But life is short! Or maybe, it’s long!
I think we can all agree that life is something, right?
Anyways, in my obsess- purely normal interest in this accomplished filmmaker, Edgar Wright, I have been reading interviews and reviews and watching movies and even short films. There is a lot you can learn from this talented and tantalizing -(that’s a director word) – auteur.
I’m especially keen to try out some of his quick cuts and sound effects. I don’t have a fancy camera yet but I will try with my phone. I already have an eager and willing talent to star. Bella Marie!
Anyways, Edgar wrote, directed, filmed and edited the short film Dead Right. A parody of Dirty Harry movies that was filmed from 1992, mostly shot on weekends, and released in 1993.
It’s great fun, I loved it! You can see a lot of his signature style of long shots, cut aways, zooms and of course his trademark editing and humor. It was shot for approximately 275£ or $365.23 American cash. Which is pretty impressive, especially for an 18 yr. old and his friends. I can tell you I wasn’t so ambitious when I was 18. What? What do you mean, you’re not surprised?
It also contained– MORE SIGNS! That’s right, the Universe, she threw me for a loop – yet another film term. 😉 Don’t I sound like I know what I’m talking about? No? Don’t worry I will, just stop paying such close attention.
SPOILERS AHEAD
There is a scene where he uses a viewing of Grease 2 as sadistic torture device! Hell to the Yeah!
Now, I’m not sure if I shared the story of my (totally imaginary) beef with Brett Goldstein, Roy from Ted Lasso but also from the macabre named yet inspiring podcast – Films to Be Buried With. https://www.filmstobeburiedwith.com/
Brett brings on various guests from the film and tv world to discuss the first movie they ever saw, the movie that made them laugh, makes them cry and so on. One such guest was the beautiful and talented, Yvette Nicole Brown and the category was favorite critically hated movie…
The two of them bonded over…GREASE (motherf’n) 2!
They thought it was amazing- in fact they wouldn’t shut up about it. So much so that I experienced a temporary lack of judgement and I…
I watched it.
I know, it was a moment of weakness. I like to believe I’m an incredibly open minded and cultured patron (I have an extremely vivid imagination!) truth be told, I so badly wanted to fit in with the popular kids, so I said to myself, “You know Karma, maybe you didn’t like it the first time you watched it back in 1980 whenever was because you were just a kid and you didn’t get it.”
Maybe I needed 30 years and this charming duo to open my eyes to the wonder, enchantment and sheer delight that is Grease 2.
NOPE! No, I tried and couldn’t get past the first musical number. Sorry kiddos, I stand resolute in my dislike of the sequel to the Olivia Newton John masterpiece.
So seeing it in the movie used in the most perfect way was a definitive sign!
Now for the second sign, there’s a scene in Dead Right where the lead character, Detective Stern, picks up a stuffed elephant! Wait, I didn’t tell you why the elephant is important.
The point of the exercise was to choose an item and when you see it, that is your sign that you are in alignment with G.U.S. – God, Universe, Source. The options were a bear, butterflies, pineapple, blue bird aaaannnnnnddd wait for it……………………………………………………ELEPHANT!
That’s two signs that Edgar and I are meant to be…….
Co creators of an awesome film! Not that I would be adverse to-
Tim: “So what’s the deal with you and Karma?”
Edgar: (shifting uncomfortably) “You know about the deal?”
Tune in next time for more signs, that may or may not lead me towards my goal of director friendships and all about my (totally imaginary) beef with Brett Goldstein over the exclusion of Muppet Treasure Island from any Muppet lists. Why is it always about Muppet Christmas Carol with you mate? Treasure Island is a gem! It stars Tim Curry for crikes sake!
Until next time – cheers! Karma Marie
Wait! Before you go, leave me a comment about whatever you like but extra points if you have a special sign that you call lucky 😉